PINK! BY Voldemort
by Rea
Summary: After book 4, Voldemort rediscovers the joys of having a body again. Songfic to Aerosmith's "Pink." I tried to put "bizarre" as a genre but I couldn't find it.


Author's Note :This is after book 4, of course. Voldemort is discovering the wonders of his new life. Sonfic to Areosmith's Pink.  
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Areosmith, lord knows what I'd do with them if I did, blah blah blah. You all know the drill.

PINK! By Voldemort

(Voldemort is sitting in his chair, Wormtail is right next to him, oddly enough, they're still in the graveyard. The death eaters are in the surroundings.  
Wormtail: Please, Master, you must drink the potion. It will help you gather strength.

Voldemort: I do not need the potion…(his voice suddenly becoming enthused) Why, I feel ALIVE!  
(He Springs out of his chair, Wormtail grasps his arm, trying to make him sit down. The strains of music can be heard in the backround)

Wormtail: NO! Master, please sit down!

Voldemort: (throwing Wormtail off, he hits the ground, disgusted. Music becomes louder.) You have to feel this, Wormtail!  
(With glee he throws off his dingy black robe, revealing a garish pink one underneath.)

Death Eaters: GASP!

Voldemort: PINK! Is my new obsession!

Wormtail: Master, no! What will everyone think?

Voldemort: PINK! It's not even a question! (Dances around, twirling the skirt of his robes.) PINK on the lips of your Lover! (Pulls Wormtail towards him)

Lucius Malfoy: Someone stop him!

Voldemort: 'Cause PINK is the love you discover! (kisses Wormtail on the lips before throwing him to the ground again)  
(Wormtail inches away, wiping his mouth with a disgusted look on his face.)

Death Eaters: He's gone mad!

Voldemort: Pink as the bing on your cherry! ( With a flash of his wand, Lucius turns into a cherry. All of the death eaters back away in horror.) PINK 'cause you are so very (graps Goyle by the coller and draws him near.)

Goyle: No please, don't kiss me!

Voldemort: PINK, it's the color of PASSION! 'Cause today, it just goes with the fashion! AHHHHHHH!(twirls around with his wand emmitting sparks all over the place. All the robes of the remaining Death Eaters Turn neon PINK)

Death Eaters: Ack! Pink is soo un-evilish.

Voldemort: (Dancing around to the music.) PINK it was love at first sight!(Bats his eyes at Crabbe) Pink when I turn out the light (Lights go out. Only light is from everyones wand and the only color, besiedes black is…you guessed it! PINK!

Womtail: Master, please turn the lights on! I'm scared of the dark!

Voldemort: (Laughing shrilly) And PINK gets me high as a kite! IMPERIUS! ( Waves his wand over all the Death Eaters and they begin dancing as well.) And I think everything is goin' to be alright, no matter what we do to night!

(Macnair slids across the graveyard on his knees, strumming an air guitar wildly)

Voldemort: You could be my FLAMINGO! (Three Death Eaters turn into Flamingos) 'Cause PINK is a new kind of LINGO!

Death Eaters: PINK like a deco umbrella! (They dance around Voldemort, who is laughing like a lunatic. The Flamingos join in, holding a big cherry.)

Voldemort: It's PINK, but you don't ever tell her. (Everyone, flamingos and cherry included, join hands and start dancing can-can-ish but to the beat of PINK)

All: PINK it was love at first sight! PINK when I turn out the light! Yeah, PINK gets me high as a kite! And I think everything is goin' to be alright, no matter what we do tonight! (Loud instrumental, all are running aroun, Macnair has formed a band with three other death eaters, two with guitars and one on the bongos.)

All: YYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH! (All look over to Voldemort for guidence and he becomes the only one singing. It becomes comparitively quiet.)

Voldemort: (looking at Wormtail, who is shivering) I want to be your lover. I want to wrap you in rubber. PINK as the sheets that we lay on. 'Cause pink is my favorite Crayon! ( All join in again.)

All: Yeah! (they commence dancing around Wormtail, Voldemort joins them)

PINK It was love at first sight!

PINK when I turn out the light!

PINK is like red but not quite.

And I think everything is gonna be alright

No matter what we do toniiiiggggghhhhhtttttttt!.

(The song ends just as the imperious curse is wearing off. All but Voldemort stop dancing.)

Death Eaters: (looking at robes) What the heck are we wearing? Pink?

Voldemort: (suddenly realizing no one else is dancing) Come on Death Eaters! That's not the only song we can dance to!

Wormtail: (getting up slowly) Now, Master, it's okay…you don't have to dance. (he starts pulling Voldemort out of the graveyard)

Voldemort: Wait! I'm not done yet! You can't keep RightSaidVoldemort down! (Voldemort gets dragged away as he starts singing 'I'm too sexy') I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt so sexy it HURTS.

(Death Eaters stare after Wormtail and Voldemort)

Lucius Malfoy: What the hell was that?


End file.
